When I found out I was pregnant i was told to put all of my dreams behind me. I wasn’t going to be able to have it all. First six months have been a struggle. Did you know it takes a woman to physically and mentally start recovering from birth six months? But American society wants us back to living our normal life at six weeks or three months. Then we wonder why the postpartum depression rate is high in America. They dont let us heal. So much is expected of us right away. When we can’t keep up, we feel like failures , we have these insane thoughts of regret entering our minds. We start shutting down and turn into women we don’t even know.
I fell into that trap. Though I’ve been lucky to stay with Riley for almost six months now I’ve felt like a failure and guilty for not being able to hustle as I have always, proving that the person was right. That I couldn’t have it all. This took a toll on me. I have been a different person the last six months. I became someone who just let life be but a little too much. I lost confidence in myself. Ugh my body. I HATE when people talk about my snap back being every women’s dream. How? My body doesn’t even feel like my own? There were more “I can’t “ thoughts than “I can.” Things changed. I won’t get into how things changed just know, they weren’t good changes.
BUT with all of this there was the warrior within me that kept fighting to come out. She had to fight really hard because the new me wasn’t trying to let the old me come out. I tried EVERYTHING to not let go and fall deeper into this black hole. I’ve been down that hole before but never that deep. I was terrified of letting go.
BUT with all of this there was the warrior within me that kept fighting to come out. She had to fight really hard because the new me wasn’t trying to let the old me come out. I tried EVERYTHING to not let go and fall deeper into this black hole. I’ve been down that hole before but never that deep. I was terrified of letting go.
Very recently I asked myself “wait. What happened to proving those that said you couldn’t have it all wrong?” I know proving someone wrong shouldn’t be my why, but if it’s going to light fire up my ass it’s going to be my why for now.
For the last three days I have used my why to motivate me to start my day from anywhere from 5:30 am to 7am (depending on Rileys feeding schedule) and start my miracle morning. I thought I would be too tired to get up so early. I have never been a morning person. For some reason , I have woken up peacefully and ready to grab my days by the balls. I am here to show that it can be done. If you haven’t done it, that’s your problem. Stop telling new moms that their lives are over!
I make the time to make my dreams come true. - my main affirmation.
No comments:
Post a Comment