Magical March (A Reflection)
Oh Magical March,
Did not know you were so magical until just last week. Up to last week I did not take a moment to be grateful for all the doors that opened for me this month. It's been a very tough year. I received my biggest blessing in 2017 (my family) but what came along externally was ROUGH.
After months of searching for a job that worked for my new life and lots of slammed doors. Opportunities fell on my lap. Yes Plural. Opportunities. I welcomed them but I was still struggling. I was sad because I couldn't spend as much time with Riley as I have in the last 7 months. I felt overwhelmed and kept telling myself that I was not going to be able to handle it all. I was exhausted and still did not feel like my pre-partum self. What kept me going was that all of these opportunities were the kind that actually fit within my life goals. There was no way, after having nothing, that I was going to let these things pass me by.
On March 25th,you forced me to open my eyes and see my blessings. I will never forget the date. I went to a baptism at a Christian Church. The church that my partner has been trying to get me to go to since we started dating. As the Bishop spoke his sermon, I started crying. God/ Jesus/ The Universe was talking to me through him. I was being told to keep walking. I can get through anything . Something big is waiting for me. I need to be glad about being able to wake up everyday and LIVE. I need to look up and keep walking no matter what life keeps throwing at me. Other people are going through worst things. Don't worry about those that don't support me and that wish me bad. To be grateful for the good and bad that does happen in my life. Those good and bad things were written in the books for me in order to reach that day I have been dreaming about. PHEW ! The list goes on. As he kept speaking I started releasing all of my frustrations through my tears. When service was done, the church seemed much more brighter than when I walked in. I thought the lights were turned on. But the next few days everything was brighter. I felt more at peace and my path was a lot more clear. I had less worry and most importantly more confidence in myself because that diminished in my first few months as a mom.
As I look back to that date I can't help but to think that just how we know when we meet the love of our life, we know exactly the moment our life pivots and things start getting better. That was my day. Thank you magical March for this experience. I am looking forward to everything that is coming my way. I will continue working hard and not worry about not being rewarded. This was one of my biggest worry. Doing all of this for nothing. Thank you for teaching me that I have to keep the FAITH to get to where I want to go.THANK YOU! Thank you for opening the doors and allowing me to finally get back in my groove. Thank you for my job. Thank you for the patience. Thank you for such a wonderful partner who has supported me through this all ! Thank you for the breath of fresh air after so long !